Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
