getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
