I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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