You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
