dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
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