No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
