Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
