and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
