It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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