I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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