I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
