Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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