i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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