I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
