I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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