so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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