JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
