He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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