where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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