just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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