So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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