He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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