when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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