well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
