Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Enjoy the penises
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
