my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
