Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
