we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I could fuck to npr.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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