you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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