just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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