Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
