He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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