who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
