I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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