Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize