The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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