For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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