toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
