you traded sex for a burrito?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
