once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize