I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
