Your tits are I can't wait for
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
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