North Korea, Best Korea!
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
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