I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
