if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
