do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
