OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
