the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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