Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
