take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
