In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
