Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I need a beard to bite.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
