I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize