It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
