walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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