Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
