Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize