I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
