Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
