Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
