so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
